Scleip ([info]scleip) wrote,
@ 2007-03-03 02:22:00
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help
I need help.

I have split with Si, this has happened before but this time I need it to stick.

why i was with him:

His enthusiasm for life, this seems to have disappeared
His understanding, dito,
his empathy dito
his support dito
the fun we had dito
I love him, this has remained true

the reasons:

We have nothing to talk about
he is racist
he is still in love with his ex girlfriend
he is aggressive
he constantly pressures me for sex
he makes me unhappy on purpose
he does not think
he does not know me, or if he does he does not care
we can not talk
His ridiculous jealousy
i am unhappy
i have never been single
We fight more than we love

Why i have got back with him in the past:

I don't know how to be alone
I equate sex with love
i am a fool
I care very deeply for him
habit
I am unhappy
I have never been single
I rate myself by who I'm with
I am unstable
I am insecure
I hate to see him sad


Why I might get back with him;

I love him
His hurt
My hurt
loneliness
insecurity
lack of self belief
he is on the contract to live in the same house as me next year.
He is in my circle of friends

i need help, advice and distraction, I'm in deep and I don't know how to climb out but I know that I want to.

Help me please.

(9 comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]feebeestar
2007-03-03 10:29 am UTC (link)
see if being friends works, if he still makes you feel bad, brings up your break up, suggests getting back together, or just having sex, realise you may need to ditch him from your life, not necessarily forever, just long enough to draw a line under what you two had. having said that i broke up with my ex over two years and we still arent talking or nada.

is it just the two of you on the housing contract? if theres a group it might be ok, just dont fall for any 'im lonely, come watch a dvd with me jen' tricks. if its only the two of you see if you can get out of the contract if you explain situation,if it is impossible to get out of the contract, decide whether you want to live there all that much and if not advertise your room, the landlord/lady, wont care who they get the money off as long as they get it.


anyway hope you feel better soon, come to troma and relax. im sure you feel stressed and agitated but just backing away for a bit can help

xxx

(Reply to this)


[info]lordsaccharine
2007-03-03 02:39 pm UTC (link)
I'm nice (ish) and you dumped me hard enough! Just imagine he's me or something.

:-p

(Reply to this)


[info]vikingjim
2007-03-03 02:43 pm UTC (link)
Gah, I'm home until tomorrow afternoon, sorry. Want to meet up then? Keep smiling mate.

(Reply to this)


[info]thepacifist
2007-03-03 06:07 pm UTC (link)
Umm. I'm not really great to talk about this kind of thing, but it seems like you're trying to find a reason to take him back. Do you want to? Can you see it happening again?

(Reply to this)


[info]littlegreenbeth
2007-03-04 06:00 pm UTC (link)
the hugest cuddliest hugs to you xoxoxox I know almost EXACTLY how you feel. I would say exactly but how could I possibly know that?! I wish I had some useful advice but all I can say is that it sounds like you have come to the end of the road with this guy for all the reasons you listed. If you're not happy and you don't think you can fix it then you need to get out of it. I also have no idea how to be single but just remember you have friends and if you put yourself back into the situation of unhappiness you are being very unkind to yourself. I wish I had something wise to say but I just understand everything you say and if you ever want to have a good whinge or anything or just go out and get horribly drunk with me(I reckon Jimmy might also join in if asked) then let me know. Thinking of you because these things are hard xxxx

(Reply to this)


[info]loonybin345
2007-03-04 07:19 pm UTC (link)
My best suggestion is simply to let your friends help you, talk to them, lean on them and let them help you with this. It's what they're for :) Everyone has their own experiences and opinions but sometimes seeing other peoples can help you understand your own better, maybe help you sort out your thoughts. You're more than welcome to give me a shout if you want someone to moan to or if you're going drinking feel free to give me a shout along with beth and jimmy :)

Best of luck lass, we're all behind you, just let us know how to help

Peter

(Reply to this)


[info]scatmania
2007-03-05 09:22 am UTC (link)
Aye; everybody's already said it, but my tip is just to distract yourself with your other friends: give yourself as much space without him in it as you possibly can. Even set yourself the challenge of deliberately STAYING single for awhile, if it helps (with a bit of practice, you'll be able to say "Not now; it's complicated," with the best of them). And most importantly, remember we're all behind you.

By the way; hadn't read this when I visited you last night - sorry if I acted confusingly!

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2007-03-05 01:07 pm UTC (link)
Stick your head back and have a good scream. Say fuck a lot. Grab the after eights and get high on them watching very annie mary. Then pack up your strange hippy clothes and come home. There is hot buttered toast and a cup of tea waiting for you. I have circle of friends in the video player. I'll be benny, you can be eve.
Have a kiss my loved one x
Beck

(Reply to this)


[info]pikeness
2007-03-07 10:58 am UTC (link)
*Big Hug* :-D

(Reply to this)

(9 comments) - (Post a new comment)

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